Friday, December 03, 2004

Aujourd'hui : "sucrer les fraises"


les fraises, vous les voulez nature ou sucré? Posted by Hello


Pour situer l’expression « sucrer les fraises », historiquement parlant j’entend, il suffit de répertorier les personnes suivantes :
1 - Royalistes nostalgiques espérant secrètement le retour du comte de Paris sur le trône de France (une fois que l’objet aura été débarrassé des restes de son dernier propriétaire, et oui, vu comment il a fini, imaginez la trouille qu’il a du avoir et la réaction en chaîne qui s’en est suivie).
2 - Amoureux romantiques de siècles où la sauvagerie flirtait si aisément avec une pseudo galanterie cachant essentiellement un machisme dépassant même celui de type habillée en cuir, avec de longues barbes conduisant des Harleys avec de gros tatouages du genre « je suis un ange de l’enfer » (ça sonne mieux en anglais quand même).
3 - Lecteurs invétérés des liaisons dangereuses et autres romans sulfureux d’une époque ou Mireille Mathieu serait passée pour une provocatrice dévergondée semant le scandale et la calomnie sur son passage.
4 – Révolutionnaires de la première heure, accordant plus d’importance à la trace historique de leur fulgurant passage sur le devant de la scène, qu’à l’histoire elle même.
5 – Précieuses ridicules qui seraient aujourd’hui des artistes dans le vent, ce qui montre que le ridicule ne tue certes pas mais qu’il est fortement temporel.
Je pourrai continuer longtemps cette liste sans pour autant que vous trouviez le rapport avec l’expression choisie cette fois ci par votre humble serviteur. Je m’arrête donc pour poser la question qui va nous emmener au cœur du problème : quels étaient les deux points communs partagés par les hommes de ces époques lointaines et révolues (et c’est mieux comme ça, qu’elles soient révolues, non ?) ?
Tout d’abord un goût immodéré pour les fraises, fruit succulent s’il en est, mais qui présentait surtout l’avantage de ne demander que peu d’effort de mastication et donc qui reposait des gencives souvent mises à nues par une hygiène dentaire que nous qualifierons de précaire. A leur décharge, il faut ajouter que la profession de dentiste n’existait pas encore à l’époque même si les mensonges et les arracheurs de dents étaient inventés depuis fort longtemps.
Le deuxième élément partagé par ces honorables individus était une sorte d’horreur grise, bouclée, raide comme la mort qu’ils mettaient sur la tête et qu’ils appelaient une perruque.
Les dernières personnes cédant à cette mode, qui sévit donc encore, se situent aux Royaumes-Unis, ils ont un petit marteau et rendent la justice dans des salles de tribunal (quand même ces anglais, ils sont forts).
La particularité de ces perruques étaient d’être recouverte d’une fine (finesse relative du moment bien sûr) couche de talc, sensée évoquer la pâle blancheur qui donnait à l’époque gloire et succès auprès du sexe opposé.
Le malheur dans tous cela vient du fait que la maladie de Parkinson existait déjà pendant ces temps obscure et elle faisait de nombreuses victimes chez les personnes âgées, qui comme aujourd’hui, étaient souvent fragiles et susceptibles.
Lorsqu’un festin était organisé et que le moment tant attendu des entremets était venu, les parkinsoniens se penchait sur leur assiette pour déguster les fameuses fraises, comme les autres convives. Mais à la différence de ces derniers, des tremblements les agitaient et étaient transmis à leur tête ce qui provoquait une chute du talc contenu dans leur perruque, talc qui recouvrait les fruits comme un jolie manteau de neige en hiver (et dans le genre manteau de neige, il y a des spécialistes, n’est ce pas ?)
Autant par pudeur que par politesse, les autres personnes autour de la table disaient alors qu’ils "sucraient les fraises".
Voilà, j’ai sûrement été un peu long cette fois ci, mais il me semblait qu’un certain soucis du détail était nécessaire.
Je certifie bien entendu la véracité de toute cette histoire qui ravira les amateurs du mélange « sucré-salé ».
J’avais promis d’élevé le débat au dessus de la ceinture, c’est chose faîte, je suis même au dessus du cerveau
Alors à vos commentaires

42 Comments:

Blogger e-diote said...

J'ai HATE de lire cela...
Vue la tournure que tu donnes à ton blog, il serait presque judicieux de créer aussi un wiki pour des écritures à quatre mains voire des écritures partouzesques !!!

Mais qu'est-ce donc qu'un wiki ?

Ici, on vous le dit en anglais !
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Search?search=wiki&fulltext=Search

Et là, en français !
http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Search?search=wiki&fulltext=Search

7:58 AM  
Blogger coyote des neiges said...

http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiki
Je me permets de te corriger, e-, cette reference est bien plus directe.

8:15 AM  
Blogger coyote des neiges said...

Merci pour cette très belle leçon d'histoire de France! Je ne regarderai plus jamais un plat de fraises sucrées de la même manière!

1:07 AM  
Blogger e-diote said...

J'ai cru que j'allais VOMIR à la fin du post quand tu parles des perruques poudrées qui s'agitent.
Remarque ça reste au dessus de la ceinture, là aussi.

e-diote OQP courir aux chiottes !

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